he feel of stiff leather chairs. The heat of a
roaring blow dryer. The whirring of a billow-
ing hair steamer. The smell of a crackling flat
iron. The look of smooth hair. These are the things that
filled my senses from the ages of 12 to 16. During these
pivotal years in my adolescence, I’d head to the hair salon
monthly and transform the swirls and bends of my curls
into static strands. The result over time? Limp, dull pieces,
begging to be saved. Why for so long did I put my crown
through all this suffering? For me the answer was that I
struggled to accept the fact that the body and movement of
my mane could be beautiful- something, I know, from my
conversations with them, many black women have also felt.
While a young Jordan was carefree, unaware of the
racial pressures that would catch up to her as she aged, a
tween Jordan was met with the influx of puberty and mental
growth that meant that my non-black classmates noticed my
hair differences, and my locks suddenly became “crazy” or
“untidy.” Plus, the onslaught of compliments reserved for
the straight-haired version of me became hard to ignore. It
seemed that overnight, years of Black hair oppression and
societal beauty standards had been thrust onto my shoul-
ders, weighing me down both figuratively and literally. So,
for years, my vibrant mop of curls was settled into an “or-
derly” style void of excitement or bounce, and my creativ-
ity was stifled. But, at 17 years old, a light bulb went off.
A transformative look in the mirror made me discover that
while I still liked the straight strands, I was ignoring anoth-
er side of myself. It existed as a pot of untapped creativi-
ty, and the choice to ignore it didn’t actually represent the
multi-faceted person I was/am. What I realized then that I
could be many things, not just one.
Yes, I could rock a sleek look by picking up the
straightener occasionally. And, I could also allow my curls
to flourish and explore the variety and beauty that natural
hair provides. This realization, not only would service my
born passion for self-expression through beauty and style,
but I’d be honoring my heritage as a Black woman and ex-
THOUGHTS ON BEAUTY
STANDARDS
Why Loving All Parts Of Yourself Is The Best Style Choice You Can Make
BY JORDAN MURRAY
@thejordannicole
62
SHEAMOISTURE